The Best Way Out Is Through--Importance of Tolerance

#51. Tolerance     

“Listening to and appreciating differing perspectives and ideas; valuing diversity”

The Best Way Out is Through

“Should we honor all religious holidays or none?,” Eric asked as he looked at his HR team.  A fourth request had come in for “time off” for religious reasons.  Ernie declared that he was fed up with all of the special requests because it meant constant reworking schedules, workloads, and a host of other issues.  Jonita reminded the group that, “our employees are a very diverse group—besides Christians and Jews, we have Muslims, and a host of other religions represented in our population.  Habrim noted that, “if we don’t show tolerance of these different religious, we’ll lose a lot of people---they’ll go work somewhere else.”  Becky said, “I’ve looked at various calendars of religious holidays, I’ve listed all of the special requests we’ve received, and taken together, people are asking for hundreds of leave days we do not currently allow for.  This is a very expensive issue.”  “So we sink the company while pleasing everybody?  That makes sense,” barked Eric.

Quietly listening to all of the moments, Monica, VP for HR and Talent Management, said, “Our company mission and values statement articulates the idea that we are an inclusive company, seeking to welcome talented individuals regardless of race, creed, orientation, nationality, and religious preference.  How do our policies reflect this mission and perspective?  Are we walking our talk?  Let’s think through the values and business goals.  These are not at odds so we need to think about them at a complex level.  For example, is there a leave policy we can create that allows for choice and dramatically contains losses?  We are a creative and experienced group, let’s put our innovation hats on and figure this out.  Maybe what we need to do is intentionally create a special company celebration—our own Festivius!”

For the reflective reader:

Demonstrating tolerance can be hard work and leading in an organization where tolerance of differences is essential can be expensive.  Monica’s response to this discussion is complex and nuanced as she outlines how the group might proceed.  What hits you as her message?  How is she helping the group embrace tolerance as a cultural attribute for the company?  She is giving multiple ways to reframe the situation, which one is the most influential to you? 

People Skills Handbook: Action Tips to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence, (2012).  Aanstad, J, Corbett, P, Jourdan, C, and Pearman, R.

People Skills Handbook: Action Tips to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

Change Your Perspective, Change Your Life

People Skills and Emotional Intelligence--Action Tips and Applications

#36. Reframing

"Seeing situations in a new light by considering different meanings, intentions or consequences to elicit more positive and productive responses"

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Change Your Perspective, Change Your Life

Recently I sat down with Tim, a colleague who had just completed a professional assessment of his ability to work effectively with his boss, direct reports and clients.  He shook his head as we discussed the results.  His clients seemed to love him: they felt appreciated, supported and listened to exceeding well by him.  He made time to get to know them and made their requests top priority.  On the other hand, his direct reports and peers rated him low in many areas.  They indicated they were unable to get his attention when needed, didn't get needed information or feedback from him on time, and often had meetings cancelled by him at the last minute.  He was disappointed since he felt he and his colleagues made a great team and had the results to prove it.  He was unsure what to do next.   I commented to him that he certainly knows how to create strong working relationships evidenced by the feedback from his clients.  He thought a few moments and said, “That is true!  Maybe if I think of my direct reports and peers as internal clients, I will have a blueprint to make some needed changes.”  He left our meeting energized with ideas for practical steps to improve his work relationships.  Tim didn't have to overhaul his personality or sign up for extensive training; he just needed to reframe how he viewed his team at work.  Rather than assuming they needed some direction, but little attention, he saw them from a fresh perspective: valuable people that deserved the level of attention he was already giving his clients. 

Reframing is the ability to see situations we are in from a new perspective, one that often opens up a more positive and productive response.  This might mean looking for the opportunity in a problem.  Losing a job is often a disheartening and difficult experience.  It also might be just the chance you needed to make that move to San Diego, a place you have always wanted to live.  This is just what my nephew did five years ago when his job in Ohio puttered out.  He is now making more money, loves his current job and sees more opportunities ahead of him.   A friend was initially pretty unhappy when the lower level of her home flooded from a broken pipe.  She took a deep breath and saw opportunity.  By adding in some money to her insurance payout, she was able to create the living space she had been dreaming about.

For the reflective reader:

To help you shift to a more optimistic, useful perspective when difficult circumstances happen, ask yourself questions such as:

               What can I do to get beyond this difficult time?

               What is going well for me and how might I build on that?

               Is there a silver lining in what is happening?

               How might (think of a friend you admire) describe and handle this?

               What would my ideal outcome in six months be?  

                What might be my first steps to get there?              

Remind yourself of challenges in the past that you have overcome.  What personal strengths, creativity and resources helped you then?  Remembering those successes can add to your current confidence.  You have the ability to see your world with new eyes: change your perspective, change your life.

People Skills Handbook: Action Tips to improve Your Emotional Intelligence, (2012). Aanstad, J, Corbett, P, Jourdan, C, and Pearman, R.

                

Welcome to the People Skills Blog!! Action Tips for You

The four authors of the People Skills Handbook: Action Tips for Improving Your Emotional Intelligence want to share application stories to give insights about the emotional competencies and people skills in our library of research and application tips for your consideration.

We (Judy Aanstad, Catherine Jourdan, Pamela Corbett, and Roger Pearman) want to make sure you have examples and illustrations when informing others about the power and usefulness of the 54 people skills we covered in our handbook.

You can order the handbook from Amazon.com through this link: People Skills Handbook.

To get us started,  Consider the following.......

# 31. Optimism    

“Expecting that things will turn out well, that good will triumph; finding positive meaning or perspective in any situation”

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Breaking through the Clouds

When the sales figures were reviewed in the Monday morning huddle, Alexandria (Director of Sales), Amir (Director of Marketing), Bob (Director of Regional Operations), Kahn (Director of IT), Margaret (Director of Finance and Accounting) and John (President) were shocked.  It was the worst month in ten years; the overall market share had been cut in half.  Based on the projected expenses and revenue, the company would have to borrow significant funds to make payroll.  There was a long silence as the group absorbed the information. 

Alexandria said that she knew things were trending down but had no idea of the magnitude of the loss.”  Margaret, sounding angry and annoyed, said, “Why don’t we have systems in place—either in sales or our IT processes—to alert us so we can take corrective action?”  Amir commented, “We knew some market changes were occurring and some of our competitors had integrated some new technology giving them an advantage but I didn’t think the impact would be this fast?” 

“Well, having lost the plot, we need to start thinking about how to save this company,” Margaret said with some urgency.  “We’ll need to cut at least 50% of the staff within two weeks to keep us out of significant debt,” Margaret said with a raised voice.  “There is plenty of pain to go around,” Khan declared with a hint of disgust.

John had been silent and was leaning in so he could hear all of the comments.  When he was sure that everyone had their say for the moment, he said:  “We have faced difficult moments before and we have found creative solutions to our problems.  I believe we have the talent around this table and throughout the organization to help us figure out a best strategy.  So we have a stark wake-up call.  Obviously, we need more information.  Let’s talk about how we can quickly gather a great deal of information about the market and our recent customer behavior so we can identify our strengths and our weak points.  We don’t know if some new marketing information was ill timed or if communication from our services group needs adjusting, or a host of many things.  We also need a short term and long term plan for dealing with our current situation.  For example, if we think it is going to take us six months to get market share back, how many furloughs will be needed to balance the books?  Let’s approach this situation with the perspective that we want to keep our talent and we need their efforts to turn this around.  Our employees, our customers, and all of us on the management team are partners and we need to act like that.”

Suddenly the mood changed and the group starting brainstorming all of the issues and challenges facing them.  What market information was needed? What internal changes were needed? How to engage the employees?  How to get customers involved? By the end of the morning everyone had signed off on next steps, the need for a morning huddle each day, and ways to work interdependently on finding quick wins.

For the reflective reader:

It is apparent that when we have our backs against the wall, we become defensive and immediately move into blame mode.  Just how many times have you seen tough situations occur where the team members but their own throats with blame, accusations, and defensive strategies?  John’s response is a positive one.  John is upbeat, confident and positive, assumes best, and shows that he sees things differently so they can find constructive solutions. 

What “real life” examples come to mind when you think about an optimistic leader who transforms tough situations?  Alan Mullaly (now retired) at FORD is a very public example of how optimism and relentless communication of a hopeful future, combined with smart business actions, saved a company.  What examples have you seen—small or large?

People Skills Handbook: Action Tips to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence, (2012).  Aanstad, J, Corbett, P, Jourdan, C, and Pearman, R.